Casanova

The scene: me, walking home from my first youth group meeting as an acting leader at my new church.  I am wondering whether I should pick up some salad on my way home when a group of teenage boys walks by.  One of them peels off from the group and approaches me.

French Boy: FrenchFrenchFrenchFrenchFrenchyFrenchFrenchFrench?
Oh no, someone else asking for directions.  Honestly, who would look at me and think, "boy, that girl sure looks directionally gifted"?
Me: Uh, desolee...
French Boy:  Oh, you speak English?
Me: Yes.
FB:  Oh, do you have the time?
Me: *Pulls out phone, shows FB the time.  Assumes interaction is over*
FB: Oh.  Do you have the facebook?
Me:  The facebook?
FB:  Yes.
Me: Um, yeah...
Wow, I just spent an hour talking about facebook and God with a bunch of teenagers, and here is one asking me about facebook on the street.  So this is oddly relevant...
FB:  Can I be your friend on the facebook?
Nope, this French child who is incapable of growing a mustache is not doing what I think he's doing.  He must want someone to practice his English with.  
Me: Um, sure.  My name is Allison Wheeler.
My facebook security is so airtight you will never find me.
FB:  So, why are you in Paris?
Me:  My husband is a researcher here, and I've come along with him.
Just in case you're doing what I sincerely hope you're not doing, I'll bring out the H card.  That will surely put a stop to this tomfoolery.
FB: *slighly crestfallen* You have a husband?
Me: Yes, yes I do.
He's twice as old as you and could destroy you with science.
FB:  So why were you in the U.S.?
Seriously, let this one go, kid.  
Me:  I lived there.  It's where I am from.
FB: Oh. *Pause*.  You are a very beautiful woman.
When I was single, never did a man in a bar send me a drink, but I am apparently the electric glow of sex to this French adolescent.  Whywhywhy?!
Me: Thanks.
FB: *Inclining his head toward me*  Can I have a kiss?
I have eye shadow older than you.
Me: Nope, *slaps FB on the shoulder*, but you have a great day!

Me: *Runs home to double and triple check privacy settings on facebook account*