And the Nominees Are...

Yesterday I had the pleasure to meet up with a family from my home church in Ohio who were visiting Paris.  We ate crepes in the Tuileries, and they told me that their next stop was the Champs-Elysees.  They asked if I had any suggestions for this next excursion; I admitted that I hadn't been.  Scandal ensued, and they invited me to accompany them.  And while the Champs-Elysees holds no attractions for me personally (other than the Arc, which we didn't quite make it to- H&M is a black hole for women under 30), the company was so delightful that it was well-worth the walk.  And besides, if I hadn't crashed their family vacation, I wouldn't have illegally snagged the following photos in the tourists shops lining the street.

Now, these fabulous gems raise the following questions: 1) Why, God, why? and 2) Which is actually the tackiest?  I don't think that the first question can ever be satisfactorily answered, but at least the second one can be put to a vote.  So please, view, consider, and then take to the comments to let me know which of these beauties you would be least (or most, depending on your point of view) excited to have your globe-trotting friend/neighbor/Grandma bring back for you:

#1: Jersey Shore does Paris *shudder*.  Also, please note that the hat is fuzzy.  So it's tacky in all three dimensions.

#2: Light-up Eiffel Towers.  I don't think I would have been so offended if it weren't for the exorbitant price tag.

#3:  Harry Potter Paris boxers.  Seriously, there are little glow-in-the-dark wizard hats.  I think these beats those tee-shirts with Marilyn Monroe's face and the Eiffel Tower on them in the category of "items that feature things that actually have nothing to do with Paris at all but that might move more merchandise."  If they wanted to jump on the Harry Potter train, they could've featured a Fleur Delacour tea cup or something.  But there's something that just feels wrong about something so intrinsically British being used to push French souvenirs; it would be like seeing Abraham Lincoln's face on the side of a beer stein in Germany.  And they were 16 euros.  Sacrebleu, old chap!

#4:  This picture ran on the front page of the Weekly World News with the headline, "3-STORY KITTENS TERRORIZE PARISIANS AND TOURISTS ALIKE."  The lead-off to the story would be, "So cute.  So cuddly.  So deadly.  These Killer Kittens are the work of Francois Gerard, the disgruntled scientist who unleashed his deadly creation on the Champs de Mars yesterday.  In a statement released from his underground lair, Gerard cited over-priced hot dogs, aggressive vendors and long lines at the Tower as the reason behind his feline reign of terror." 

OK, I eagerly await your votes...