Bird Soap Opera

In my attempts to free myself from distractions *coughcoughFACEBOOKcough*, I occasionally drag my laptop and reading materials over to MontEnchantedFairyLandsouris to enjoy the fresh air and to shelter in the shade of my tree.  (And yes, it is my tree.  I've marked it, just not in the way a cat would).  However, focus is still often out of reach as I frequently find myself distracted by the various winged denizens of the park.  So much time do I spend watching their antics that I've actually cast them all in an elaborate soap opera (All My Children did just go off the air- vacancy filler!).  I may not have a plot yet, but here are the characters:

The ducks will probably be our protagonists, as they always seem to be caught up in the most drama.  Seriously, spring in the pond was like a one long, aquatic, avian episode of Mad Men, with Rogers  chasing down and pinching Joans everywhere you looked.

The mysterious, beautiful creatures that everyone idealizes and envies in equal measure.  But they are burdened with a deep, dark, shameful secret.  Secret baby?  Literal skeletons in the closet?

The brown-nosing upstart, desperately wanting to be liked, but mostly the other birds mock them behind their backs.  They will triumph in some unexpected way, or turn totally evil as a result of their rejection.

The mean girls, but in more of a Joan Collins-in-a-turban kind of way rather than a Lohan-in-spray-tan way.  Deliciously villainous, and always out to steal your man.

The well-meaning best friend.  Loyal, but dim-witted and passive aggressive.  They unknowingly get involved in a money laundering scandal, and its up to the ducks to bail them out.

And who do the ducks go to get the geese out of trouble?  The ravens, that's who.  As wise as they are wise-cracking, these birds can get the job- any job- done.  But at what price, ducks?  At what price?

And the seagulls are the characters that get added late in the second season to revive view interest, but mostly just end up being douchewads that nobody cares about.

Title suggestions?  Bird puns welcome and encouraged.